I am not a ‘Relationship Expert’ but it’s sad to see that young boys and girls think that you can either be good at ‘relationships’ or you can have a ‘career’.
So if you are worried that you have to pick one between Career and Relationships, then I’ve got good news for you.. Finding your soulmate makes you better at your career (not worse) So it doesn’t matter if you are Single, Married or in a Complicated relationship.. today by the end of this article, you will know whether or not.. ‘He is the one’ ..or she is the one because in today’s article we are going to see..
5 Steps to find your soulmate and towards the end, I’ll give you a Bonus Tip which will completely change your perspective about relationships.
Step #1... To find the one, first find yourself.
Chances are, your soulmate is currently doing one of the things that you like doing too. It can be working for an NGO, working for a company or simply working out at the gym. I am not saying that if you go to the gym, everybody in the gym is eligible for you but having some interests in common helps. A soulmate is someone that you want to be home quarantined with whenever an outbreak happens. All the couples are discovering this now, if you are locked down with one person in one house for days, you need something in common, no? Chiggy-wiggy all the time is not possible. Me and my husband met in a public speaking club that we joined to improve our presentation skills. And I am so glad we did, because that gave both of us something in common to talk about, to break the ice. Having uncommon interests is important too. For example, he uses my article editing skills for his customer presentations and I use his network to connect to the right vendors for my business. It’s like our strengths and weaknesses compliment each other. So to find your better half, Step #1 is to first make yourself better. Pursue your interest, do online courses, focus on your career. Working on yourself and being secure about who you are has 2 benefits… You’ll find a good partner and you will also be good to that partner.
Step #2: Never justify bad behaviour.
He makes fun of me in front of my family ..but he loves me. She calls me only when she needs me ..but she loves me. He slaps me ..but he loves me. Never justify bad behaviour by telling yourself.. ‘but.. he loves me.’ ‘but.. she loves me.’ It doesn’t have to be as bad as a thappad (slap), but in times like these, if you alone are doing the dishes, cooking, cleaning while he is lying around in the house or if she gossips about you in front of her friends, that also shows lack of respect. But respect is the foundation of any good relationship. So if your partner is hurting you mentally, physically or emotionally, talk to them about it and if that doesn’t work out then respect yourself enough to do something about it. But never justify any bad behaviour that Bollywood or the society has normalised by telling yourself.. ‘But.. he loves me.’ ‘But.. she loves me.’
Step #3: Observe them in public (after the lock-down ends, ofcourse.
The biggest deal-breaker for me is when I go out to eat with someone and they call the waiter like this.. It’s not about just respecting you, but it’s also about respecting others like people in the service industry, people online. I believe online people can show how worse they can get. So check their online profiles. Are they calling someone fat or ugly? Are they sharing politically toxic posts? Are they following crappy youtubers who have normalised swearing on mothers and sisters? Initially they might be at their best with you, but once the dating facade is removed then you have to deal with their worst and observing them in public helps you see what their worst is. I know what you are thinking.. ‘If you can’t handle me at my worst, then you don’t deserve me at my best.’ That is true, but.. if someone’s worst is violence, hate or contempt then it means that they need to work on themselves a lot to become human first and that responsibility can’t be offloaded to anyone, especially not you.
Step #4: Communicate about your life expectations.
See, when you attend an interview, they ask you.. ‘Where do you see yourself 5 years from now?’ because they want to know whether your goals align with the company’s. Relationships are exactly like that.. What is your age? 20? 30? So for 20 or 30 years of your life, you have already imagined what kind of a life you want. And starting a new life, with a new person will workout if you tell them clearly.. where do YOU see yourself 5 years from now.
The point is, always communicate your Career goals, Family goals, Life goals with your partner because for a person to be ‘the one’, they should atleast be enthusiastic about supporting your goals.
Step #5: Take care of yourself.
There are people who say that money is not everything… Don’t listen to those people. According to the Maslow’s Pyramid of Human Need, the first thing we all need is food, clothing and shelter. And what helps you get these? Money. Love comes later.
The first step to take care of yourself is to be Financially Healthy. So watch our Finance articles (link in description), learn how to earn money, make money and become Financially Independent first. Step 2 is to take care of yourself is to be physically healthy. Many of us starve ourselves to lose weight so that we can get into a relationship and then after ending up in a bad relationship we stress-eat to the extent of obesity. In both the scenarios, your health suffers. And this is where our today’s sponsor can help you.
Back in the 90s, Madhuri Dixit knew exactly how to find the one.. But it’s 2020 and if the one above hasn’t given you any sign yet then today, let me give you one. There are different reasons why we search for a soulmate, for companionship, to start a family, to travel with.. But the worst reason to search for a soulmate is to find happiness. If you are waiting for a partner to be happy then you will expect that partner to keep you happy… all the time. And that is an unrealistic expectation to have from your partner.
So today’s Bonus Tip is this.. Before you look out for love, fall in love with yourself first. Grow, fail, fall, try again but do whatever it takes to be that person that you’ve always wanted to be. I think I’ve found a soulmate because I was focused on me first.. ..my skills, my work. So the ‘one’ that you are looking for that’ll make you happy is staring right back at you from a mirror.
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